I.Should.Be.Asleep.
And I can't sleep for several reasons, some what you'd expect and some not. The obvious reason is because I waited until the last minute to work on a project that is meant to be a gift for someone in (aarrrggghhh) approximately 6 hours, and, even though I started today with plenty of time to spare, is not done yet. Because I let myself be distracted in the middle of it.
Oh but it was so worth it!
So let's recap, shall we? I'm Noelle, and I want to write a book featuring hypnosis. In order to write intelligently on this subject, I decided to experience hypnosis for myself, and rather than spend a lot of money on a professional appointment turned instead to YouTube ('cause that's always safe), where I immediately (it took three videos) became enamored with hypnosis, specifically with being entranced. (Ironically, I have an Aunt who is a certified hypnotist. Yes, I can hear you laughing. Stop it! Stop it right now!) But soon just listening to files on YouTube wasn't enough, so I went searching for a more personal connection. Or rather, I was thinking about searching for a more personal connection, when someone whom I'd never met in my life private messaged me and wanted to know if I wanted to be hypnotized by him. Then, after chatting a little bit via pm, he apparently decided that my lack of experience was going to be a problem and never got back to me. Cue sad violins and mournful dirges. But you can't miss what you don't have, it didn't break my heart because I don't have one (just kidding, calm down!) and I soon found some new videos to experience. And the man who made those vids is a genius, let me tell you. As I started by using the actual YouTube names of people I will continue to do so now, if anyone ever reads this then maybe they will want to go check these vids out, yes?
So I discovered a man called kaos ocntrl. Who has a great voice with a great accent and a great style of hypnotism and whose vids work really really well for me. And he has a blog, which I read, which lead me to a community of people on this great big world wide web who like what I call "smutty hypnotism" as much as I do. Although they call it a fetish. Which it is. I have a fetish now! Fetishes are cool! Actually, I have several, but I digress. But not by much, as I will soon divulge.
I made a profile. I was very honest in this profile, because this is the kind of community that is accepting of this kind of honesty. And so they have proven to be. I have a great pic that I found ages ago, before I embarked on my hypnotism adventure, that is eerily prescient, which I am using as my avatar, and have already made several connections with fascinating people.
(Somewhere my dead ex-husband is laughing his ass off right now.) I understate. I joined this site on 23 December (two days ago, and not early in the day, either) and have 1- discovered things about my mind that I was completely in the dark about and 2- acquired a Master. Or he acquired me. And I'm scared and nervous and exhilerated and wound up and so many other things that I just can't make the words fall into line. I did things tonight that I have barely imagined, (not dangerous things, no need to worry about me yet), but things that were new and different for me. And what I have discovered is that this man who I met on the internet less than 48 hours ago is more accepting and compassionate than any of the stellar examples of manhood who have shared my bed over the last 12 or so years. And yes, I do believe the brief sample I have so far is sufficient to make this judgement. I can be honest with him about what I want and don't want, about what scares me and why, about things that no one else knows about me.
A caveat; I communicate fantastically through text. If I can write I can make myself understood. And most of our communication thus far has been through chatting. I suck at speaking when the subject is important to me, I gibber. It's not pretty. But again, I digress.
So do I share this blog with my new friends? Am I still writing a book? Yes. Are any of them in it? No. Do I intent to write here about a lot of what happens to me with this adventure? Well, yes. Names may have to be changed.
But for now, I have a text message waiting for me, as well as 3 or so hours of sleep.
Happy Mithrastide!
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