Spoiled

I had just decided to write a blog about how spoiled I think I am that I was able to find two people who want to spend (a sometimes significant amount of) time both trancing me as well as being my friend when I got this message:

want to sspend the afternoon a little less then solidly here?

(The answer to which is always always always going to be yes.)   So here I sit, writing rather than planning, typing rather than doing the sort of over-complicating organizing that has been keeping me from writing, all while having that "fuzzy not quite here feeling."  I quite like it.

I have been very frustrated by the time difference between myself and a couple of people with whom I thought I was building friendships, and getting a little whiny about it, and had to forcibly stop myself.  It's a hold over from being the kid that didn't know how to get along with everyone; I always thought that no one wanted to have anything to do with me and I've never really escaped from that over the years I suppose.  I forget that people have lives and jobs and other friends and interests that take them elsewhere.  I was falling into the trap of thinking that it was about me when we failed to connect, which is a silly attitude to take but one I fall into easily.  (As well as feeling sorry for myself.)

And I have absolutely no reason to feel sorry for myself, for the friends that I am making/have made are so worth the times when no one is around.

I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but this is how my thought process works.  If you're looking for coherence and some sort of linear pattern, you are so out of luck!