I have had an extraordinary day (that has stretched into an exraordinary night) and like many extraordinary things is proving very difficult to write about. Exraordinary things have been happening to me daily ever since I discovered hypnosis; I am constantly surprised by the next thing that comes along. Just like I can always go deeper so can I always find new territories to explore.
So, an update on the life of Noelle. I am no longer seeking out new trance partners. (This doesn't mean that I won't trance with someone new, but it does mean that if you chat me up with the sole intention of trying to entrance me that you will be sadly disappointed.) I have found two wonderful friends with whom I can play with total trust and respect and that is sufficient. They are very similar in some ways, but also dramatically different in others. It keeps it interesting for me, interacting with these two points of view. Keeps me on my toes, as it were.
The novelty of being a science project has worn off, especially as I've discovered something that I am not good at at all. Turns out I'm lousy at being blank--that complete mindless state that some people seem to achieve without effort. I want to be able to experience it quite a lot; someone saying "freeze" and me being frozen and mindlessly unaware of the passage of time before someone says "unfreeze." I'm having a lot trouble with the 'mindlessly unaware' aspect. We're working on it and I know that someday we'll manage it, but until then I am being childishly impatient and not a little bit demanding of myself.
I've rediscovered some things about myself that I should have already known from my 'real' life but hadn't really expected to deal with in my hypnotic life. Stupidity annoys me, as does neediness and unfounded arrogance. (And by 'annoys' I really mean 'angers'.) I seem to attract men with the mentality of little boys who are looking for a Mom, or arrogant jerks who think they are god's gift to any woman with a Skype account. Strangely enough, in a community that practices an art to which listening is integral I have encountered very few people who actually bother to listen. Maybe it's because so many people rely on scripts posted online and read blindly by someone with no connection to the original hypnotist. It's a mystery to me.
But as I said, extraordinary experiences.
Having all my senses heightened to unbelievable levels and then orgasming like something supernatural.
Being taken so deeply into trance that all I remember is the sensation of water and some pretty lights.
And feeling a connection so strongly with someone that I would have sworn he was in the room with me, so close that I should have been able to just...reach...out...
Asking myself again how it is that I have this mighty rapport with two people whom I've never met? (When I crack that mystery I'll have the keys to the universe.)
It's already tomorrow, so I suppose I'll have to look forward to today for any answers. Or more likely, more questions.
*licks from the base of your skull to the bottom of your spine*