What I Did On My Summer Vacation

This is Not a Recap or Why I’m Glad I Attended Entranced 2018

I’m not going to spend a lot of time on background. If you know me at all, or have read any of my old event recaps, then you already know that my first MEEHU, (aka the con that would become Entranced), was a life-changing experience for me. Like many other people, I felt like I’d found my home, I made lifelong friends, I felt like my true self for the first time… and so on and so on.

So, let’s talk about Entranced 2017 for a moment.

Due to a falling out that I’d had with a member of the con com I did not feel completely at home any time I was “out in public” at this event. Due to some interactions with them that I had after the event I did not feel safe engaging with any group that contained them. So I decided to take a giant step back from participating in the community. I didn’t talk much in skype groups; other than making a public post that this person inspired me to make with their accusations, I stopped engaging publicly with people on Fetlife. I commented less and less on tumblr posts, and posted original content even less. Other than a few very close friends, I stopped interacting with everyone, including people that I’d started to get close to prior to Entranced and people whom I met at the event itself.

Those friendships were definitely damaged, or at the very least, stunted, because of it.

I felt like I couldn’t express myself publicly about anything for fear of provoking that con com member; I felt like if I did provoke them that they would find a way to somehow prevent me from attending Entranced 2018.  I didn’t feel safe talking with people who were friends with them, I didn’t feel safe making comments in public forums in which they participated.

I decided not to present in 2018, to just attend, keep my head down, hang out with my friends, and try not to make waves.

And then the chaos started. It began to look more and more like my friends wouldn’t be attending for reasons of their own, reasons which I fully supported. And I decided that maybe I’d sit this one out. And the chaos got worse. But one by one, my friends decided that seeing each other was worth the discomfort they’d feel in attending, and I agreed. We would be able to weather anything that got thrown at us because we’d be together. And then, the Entranced con com got hit by a hurricane of their own making, and the efforts to survive the storm ultimately cost them half their membership.  And just like that, almost all of us who’d been so worried about what might happen at Entranced felt our confidence return.

The three remaining members of the Entranced con com: Daja, MissIsis, and Lamia, pulled off a miracle, if that’s the right word to use for “worked 24/7 doing more than they ever should have been asked to”. They created an environment in which consent and safety were highlighted, handled issues that came up with grace and humor, and inspired people to believe that this community could be one that worked together to keep a midwest con alive. I am so glad to have gone, even though I didn’t attend too many classes, even though I didn’t see as much of people as I might have wanted, because what I did see was truly inspiring.

Inspiring enough that I’m going to be actively involved somehow in making sure that there is some sort of midwest hypnosis convention for 2019. Inspiring enough that I’m not going to let my own personal doubts and misgivings keep me from interacting with my friends. And inspiring enough that I’m going to start sharing my opinions in public again.

So, here’s to the next year and all the wonderful things that can happen in it! Drop me a message if you want, ask me questions if you want, argue with me, yell at me, tell me I should have made more spicy brownies; I’m listening and I’m finally able to answer.

(Cross-posted to Fetlife and tumblr.)