This is Not a Recap or
Why I’m Glad I Attended Entranced 2018
I’m not going to spend a lot of time on
background. If you know me at all, or have read any of my old event recaps,
then you already know that my first MEEHU, (aka the con that would become
Entranced), was a life-changing experience for me. Like many other people, I
felt like I’d found my home, I made lifelong friends, I felt like my true self
for the first time… and so on and so on.
So, let’s talk about Entranced 2017 for a
moment.
Due to a falling out that I’d had with a member
of the con com I did not feel completely at home any time I was “out in public”
at this event. Due to some interactions with them that I had after the event I
did not feel safe engaging with any group that contained them. So I decided to
take a giant step back from participating in the community. I didn’t talk much
in skype groups; other than making a public post that this person inspired me to
make with their accusations, I stopped engaging publicly with people on
Fetlife. I commented less and less on tumblr posts, and posted original content
even less. Other than a few very close friends, I stopped interacting with
everyone, including people that I’d started to get close to prior to Entranced
and people whom I met at the event itself.
Those friendships were definitely damaged, or at
the very least, stunted, because of it.
I felt like I couldn’t express myself publicly
about anything for fear of provoking that con com member; I felt like if I did
provoke them that they would find a way to somehow prevent me from attending
Entranced 2018. I didn’t feel safe talking with people who were friends
with them, I didn’t feel safe making comments in public forums in which they
participated.
I decided not to present in 2018, to just
attend, keep my head down, hang out with my friends, and try not to make waves.
And then the chaos started. It began to look
more and more like my friends wouldn’t be attending for reasons of their own,
reasons which I fully supported. And I decided that maybe I’d sit this one out.
And the chaos got worse. But one by one, my friends decided that seeing each
other was worth the discomfort they’d feel in attending, and I agreed. We would
be able to weather anything that got thrown at us because we’d be together. And
then, the Entranced con com got hit by a hurricane of their own making, and the
efforts to survive the storm ultimately cost them half their membership.
And just like that, almost all of us who’d been so worried about what
might happen at Entranced felt our confidence return.
The three remaining members of the Entranced con
com: Daja, MissIsis, and Lamia, pulled off a miracle, if that’s the right word
to use for “worked 24/7 doing more than they ever should have been asked to”.
They created an environment in which consent and safety were highlighted,
handled issues that came up with grace and humor, and inspired people to
believe that this community could be one that worked together to keep a midwest
con alive. I am so glad to have gone, even though I didn’t attend too many
classes, even though I didn’t see as much of people as I might have wanted,
because what I did see was truly inspiring.
Inspiring enough that I’m going to be actively
involved somehow in making sure that there is some sort of midwest hypnosis
convention for 2019. Inspiring enough that I’m not going to let my own personal
doubts and misgivings keep me from interacting with my friends. And inspiring
enough that I’m going to start sharing my opinions in public again.
So, here’s to the next year and all the
wonderful things that can happen in it! Drop me a message if you want, ask me
questions if you want, argue with me, yell at me, tell me I should have made
more spicy brownies; I’m listening and I’m finally able to answer.
(Cross-posted to Fetlife and tumblr.)
(Cross-posted to Fetlife and tumblr.)